The One Where D Carries On As If Nothing Has Happened

Sorry about that, I really needed a shit. Now where was I?

I know, I know, the blog just ended all rather abruptly and on such a high too with a winning Gold Cup tip. It’s actually slightly disappointing that there was no global outbreak of concern that I had taken my ‘Stan’ references to their logical conclusion but I guess the reality is that I pretty much explained myself to my one loyal reader, Mx36, so not sure who was going to start the man-hunt.

The truth is though that I found it hard to juggle writing about being a feminist dad as well as writing financial analysis on dodgy companies and crooked CEO’s, especially as proper work got busier. As the financial fraud-busting journalism actually pays me enough to cover my ridiculous monthly Costa Coffee bill and, as I’m yet to put up a paywall on here or even a Guardian-esque begging message, I thought I’d focus on the paid work and, you know how it is, once one stops it’s so hard to start again; it’s like going to the gym.

After an 18-month break though, I started to miss this old blog and re-reading it over the last week or so has made me smile and reminisce fondly. Also, it seems to me that the world of equality is still some way off and as my ramblings are read by, er, a handful of people, I feel like a have a moral duty to persevere and make change happen….or something.

More importantly though, F is growing up fast and without these written memories, it’s all going to become a blur very quickly. So I’m getting back on the treadmill and seeing how far I can run before my back gives out again. As a betting man, I doubt I’ll make the end of the year!

I guess I’ve got a couple of options now. I could just crack on as if nothing has happened and pick up with the equivalent of the Bobby Ewing shower scene in ‘Dallas’ at the end of the 1985-86 series despite the fact that he had been killed at the end of previous series with the plot line that the whole year had all been a dream. Those from the Midlands, and that is most of you, may prefer a ‘Crossroads’ reference here, where the whole bloody show was a dream – obvs!

Possible I guess but that will mean that you will miss out on my razor-sharp commentary on F and all things feminism-based that have taken place over the last year and a half and how would you cope? Accordingly, I think I will just crack on from here but intersperse the blogs with flash back specials a la ‘Lost’ or the whole of ‘How I Met Your Mother’.

I have to recognise that the world has changed somewhat though in the intervening period. Now that everything is binge watched on Netflix, I feel an obligation to load ten blogs at a time just to give people what they want and satisfy the millenial ‘I just want it now’ craving.

Let’s not get carried away here, that’s not going to happen but, if forced to provide the producers with my Season 1 plan, I think the flash backs and flash forwards (was anyone still watching ‘Lost’ at this point?) would cover the following:

‘The One Where The World Collapses in Disbelief When Finding Out That Alan Shearer is Worth Three Emily Maitlises’

‘The One Where The Industrious Miss Rabbit Finds Love”‘

‘The One Where Google Shoots Itself In The Foot Again’

‘The One Where Mr Costa Gave Me THAT Tap On The Shoulder’

‘The One Where F was Invited To The Wrong Party’

‘The One Where I Made Friends With The Future Leader of The Free World, Well The Lib Dems Anyway’

‘The One In Which The World Comes To The Shock Realisation That “Unicorns” and VCs are Run by Sexist Pigs”

‘The One Where Iggle Piggle Loses That Fucking Blanket Again!’

‘The One Where Andy Murray Showed The Old Cricket Boys How To Be A Feminist’

‘The One Where The Actual Leader of The Free World “Grabs Pussy”‘

‘The One With F Still Wearing Nappies At School”

‘The One Where Scumbag College Beat The Footlights’

It’s good to be back – see you again in 2019!



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